Attachment Theory

Attachment Styles in Relationships

Discover how your early experiences shape your relationship patterns. Learn about the four attachment styles and how understanding yours can lead to healthier, more secure connections.

Take Attachment Style Quiz Learn About Types

What is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, explains how our early relationships with caregivers shape our approach to relationships throughout life. These early experiences create internal "working models" that influence how we connect with romantic partners, friends, and family.

Understanding your attachment style can help you recognize patterns in your relationships, communicate more effectively, and work toward developing more secure connections with others.

The Four Attachment Styles

50-60% of population

Secure Attachment

Comfortable with intimacy and independence. Forms healthy, balanced relationships.

Key Characteristics

Communicates needs and feelings openly
Comfortable with emotional intimacy
Trusts partners and feels secure in relationships

In Relationships

Forms stable, long-lasting partnerships
Supports partner's independence and growth
Resolves conflicts through communication

Learn more about secure attachment

15-20% of population

Anxious Attachment

Seeks closeness but fears abandonment. Often needs reassurance in relationships.

Key Characteristics

Strong desire for emotional closeness
Tendency to worry about partner's feelings
Sensitive to partner's moods and changes

In Relationships

Deeply committed and loving partners
Highly attuned to partner's emotional needs
May become preoccupied with relationship status

Learn more about anxious attachment

20-25% of population

Avoidant Attachment

Values independence and self-reliance. May struggle with emotional intimacy.

Key Characteristics

Highly values independence and autonomy
Uncomfortable with too much emotional closeness
Tends to be self-reliant and logical

In Relationships

Provides stability and reliability
Respects partner's independence
May struggle with emotional conversations

Learn more about avoidant attachment

5-10% of population

Disorganized Attachment

Inconsistent patterns of attachment. May have experienced trauma or inconsistent caregiving.

Key Characteristics

Inconsistent relationship patterns
May alternate between clingy and distant behavior
Can struggle with emotional regulation

In Relationships

May push partners away when they get too close
Can be unpredictable in emotional responses
May have intense but unstable relationships

Learn more about disorganized attachment

Building Secure Attachment

Develop Self-Awareness

Recognize your attachment patterns and triggers

Mindfulness practice
Journaling about relationship patterns
Therapy or counseling

Improve Communication

Learn to express needs and emotions effectively

Use "I" statements
Practice active listening
Set healthy boundaries

Build Security

Develop internal security and self-soothing skills

Self-compassion practices
Emotional regulation techniques
Building support networks

Choose Secure Partners

Seek relationships with securely attached individuals

Look for consistent behavior
Value emotional availability
Avoid relationship red flags

Attachment Style Compatibility

Most Compatible Pairings

These combinations tend to create stable, supportive relationships

Secure + Any Style

90%+

Anxious + Secure

85%

Avoidant + Secure

80%

Challenging Pairings

These combinations may require more work and understanding

Anxious + Avoidant

45%

Disorganized + Any

50%

Avoidant + Avoidant

55%

Ready to Discover Your Attachment Style?

Take our comprehensive attachment style assessment to understand your relationship patterns and get personalized insights for building more secure connections.

Take the Quiz Explore Love Languages

What is Attachment Theory?

Understanding your attachment style can help you recognize patterns in your relationships, communicate more effectively, and work toward developing more secure connections with others.